Let Us Lettuce.


May 2011*

My regular early morning step out the front door to check on the slug pick up the morning paper stopped me dead.  My slug wasn’t in its pot, on the wall or anywhere on the porch. Frantically, I searched the front yard.

There, on the driveway, slowly and aimlessly meandering was my slug.

Slug on the driveway

I grabbed the paper and ran into the house. “Bob, you can’t leave for work until the slug gets out of the way!”


“Your car will hit my slug if you back out of the garage!” I said.

“What do you expect me to do, call in late? I can hear it now, ‘Boss, I’ll be late this morning, I had to wait for my wife’s pet slug to get out of the way before I backed out of the driveway.’ ” He opened the paper and started to read.

“You can take my car.”

“This is getting silly.” He sounded uncharacteristically annoyed.

I rummaged through the fridge for some old lettuce.  After rinsing it and padding it dry, I tore off a small piece and placed it 12 inches closer to the porch than where the slug was.  Then placed a larger piece in the middle of the porch.  The rest of it went into the slug pot.

Luring my slug off the driveway with lettuce.

It was B-time minus ten.

“OK, Bob.  I may have solved our problem.  But, don’t back out until I check the driveway.  And from now on, we should always make sure the driveway is clear before backing out.”

“And when I get home, we’ll call a psychiatrist and make an appointment for you.” He winked.

Ten minutes later the slug was busy munching lettuce on the porch. Problem solved.  Note to self: Place lettuce in the fern pot every morning so the slug won’t wander onto the driveway.


What the Slug Says!


I gotta say it, I’m starting to like the red-topped pinky.  I decided to start working out. This morning as I was gliding along at a pretty good clip, the pinky came out of its rock to get the paper. Usually, it looks at me, picks up the paper and crawls back into its rock. But, this morning it came over to me, balancing on its lower tentacles and stared for a minute. I froze in place, wondering what it was up to. Nothing. It went back into its rock. To my surprise, five minutes later, it came back out with treats. FOR ME.

Lettuce courtesy of my red-topped pinky.

That is some pinky. Nature never ceases to amaze me.

*Note to readers: We’re catching up on the pet slug history. When we reach current time we’ll post a daily slug pot report – read on — it gets better. )


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  1. Pingback: Ding Dong…Slug Calling | My Pet Slug

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